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it's time to prove to your friends that your worth a damn... [Aug. 28th, 2005|03:31 pm]
[mood |excitedanxious to go play football]
[music |king cry baby]

well had an interesting few days... i miss my hat... i'm working really hard on not smoking... and soon i'll start on the drinking... well maybe... for more info on my daily bitching and rambling go to http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=mocap thats the one i post more on...
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(no subject) [May. 22nd, 2005|06:51 pm]
[mood |restlessrestless]
[music |Redemption Song - Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros]

well it has been a long week so far...

I have been blowing all of my money rather quickly cuz after this round all of it shall be put towards a greater cause...

a cause..? no a purpose that is what i have been searching for...

what else is needed...

I think i have finally found a way to achieve my goals that i have set...

after watching episode III my mind has seemed to clear up a lot...

it kind of helped me understand wat i was feeling...

good and evil are inverses that are switched when looked upon from a different point of view...

So i have decided to abandon the "path of the jedi" and adopt the "ways of the sith" yet i will still use my powers for good...

the only difference between the 2 is how they draw their "power" a jedi draws his "power" from wisdom yet a sith draws it from passion...

for the past year i have been relying on my wisdom for all of my ideas and plans and have achieved wat i have wanted but always lost it soon after...

I feel that if i act with passion as my driving force then i shall be able to achieve wat it is i want...

This may shock some of u because of the fact that u come to me seeking wisdom and help when in situations that u have trouble understanding and/or that u can not overcome by yourselves...

fear not for i have not left all of u in the darkness to your own devices...

i will still try my hardest to point u in the right direction, yet my answers may either be more cryptic or less nice to the people around you... just as effective but with harsher side effects...

soon my plans will unfurl and i will either be successfull and happy, or i will fall and fade into beautiful obscurity...
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crying [May. 14th, 2005|10:45 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |Good Riddiance (time of your life) - Green Day]

i feel that i will never be able to hear this song again without tearing up and wanting to just run away into a hole and die...

"for what it's worth, it was worth all the while... It's something unpredictable but in the end is right, I hope u had the time of your life..."
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how much can u take? [May. 8th, 2005|12:51 pm]
[mood |melancholymelancholy]
[music |redemption song - Johnny Cash and Joe Strummer]

I have prided myself over the years for having avoided the high school melodrama... yet recently I caused one...

The only advice i have for u guys is to never act upon physical urges, when your emotions are completely towards another even if u are not recieving those emotions back... with one action i nearly destroyed an entire group of friends... and the tension is still there just hidden at a level that is barely noticable...

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds," - Joe strummer and johnny cash (may your weary souls rest peacefully forever) this is such a beautiful song that is causing me too write all this out... it is one of those songs that isn't sad but u cry anyway because it is so beautiful in its message of hope... and when u look at who is performing it, it is surprising that they had anything to look hopeful towards...

Graduation... that might just be the saddest day of my life... for many reasons... i have to leave behind my favorite place in the world... i have to leave behind almost everybody i ever knew... i also have to leave behind a person i have strong feelings towards and i'm afraid i will never know wat could have came out of it... or even what she was feeling...

oh well enough of my trademark sad rambling...

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bleh [Apr. 16th, 2005|04:45 pm]
[mood |complacentcomplacent]
[music |Poison - Talk dirty to me]

So I am sitting here bored as hell looking for something to do and i remembered that kristin told me that i never update this anymore. so i decided to try and stifle my boredum by writing here.

Less than one month until graduation and i don't know wat i'm gonna do... i got all my grades up and i'm getting back into shape so those things are taken care of. now all i have to do is just stick it out.

my life is really boring... i never have anything to do except practice and after a few hours of that u just get sick of it... all i ever seem to do is sit down here on my computer waiting for someone worth talking to to get on... at least i got to hang out with kristin yesterday that was fun.

I actually got a slight sunburn just going on a walk over at her house which is funny cuz i was only outside for like an hour at the max.

Me and Erin decided to go pogo sticking over at the skate park. it was fun but pogo sticks and ramps don't mix very well. i fell down a lot and racked myself a couple of times. Erins pogo stick hates me. I think everyone should pogo it's like the most exercize u can get from the least amount of effort. It really tires u out and the whole time u are having fun so you don't realize that u are starting to fatigue U JUST KEEP BOUNCING!!!

oh well enough talking

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yay [Apr. 3rd, 2005|11:11 pm]
[mood |pleasedpleased]
[music |flogging molly - If i ever leave this world alive]

well i already posted this on xanga but some people check this more often so i figured i'd post in both places

well today has been a genuinely good day. it started off at midnight last night with kevin and taka and me playing with a pogo stick at the district gym parking lot. After that i waited till the clocks were about to change and then went to take a piss so i technically took an hour long piss.

then there were hours of boredom until i started talking to kristin which always seems to make my day. after talking to her for hours and practicing my guitar for a couple hours i had thought i would be having just an average boring day. Then in the evening kristin started hinting at something so i went with it and decided to ask her back out. and it yeilded very positive results. so i am no longer lonely and once again happy for those of you that were worried about me.

oh well bye all

Russell Hacker
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yay [Mar. 12th, 2005|02:17 pm]
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |this constant ringing in my ears]

Well last night the Green 17 tour presented by guinness rolled through KC and of course i was in the very front. It is so nice to go to a concert where u know all of the words and so does everyone around u. I have really sore ribs from the steel railing i was leaning/getting pushed against. I do so love Flogging Molly. The best part was getting to talk to Dennis Casey after the concert. for those of u who don't know thats their electric guitar player. He signed my guinness hat. He wanted me and chris to go to the afterparty to hang out but we had to be 21 to go in there. but even though i couldn't go do that it was still good. i got bob (the banjo/mandolin players) copy of the setlist. I was very happy.
well thats all i have to bore u all with. So in the words of Dave King last night, "until next time i come through here, u guys are amazing, and take care of each other."
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You can't go home again.... [Mar. 6th, 2005|08:03 pm]
[mood |pensivepensive]
[music |battle hymn of the republic - air force choir]

Well today was long enough. I had to go sing at zion church at ten which ment i didn't get outa there till noon. After that brady's dad took him me and giff to pizza hutt. then i went home. later brandy came over and well we had a nice long talk that involved tears and confusion(from both parties.) after that i was feelin kinda down so i went to Talmage of all places.

It was nice. i went and walked around with laura for an hour or so an just looked at how little the town has changed. It was surprising it is as if time just forgot that one town, not the ppl in it just the actual town. I miss the freedoms and joy of childhood. being able to just slide down a piece of metal and be entertained is something i miss. Nowadayz the sheer concept of a slide seems assinine. it's more work then it is fun. the same with swings.

As I approach the end of my senior year i realize how much i am gonna miss this place and the ppl around it. I think that is part of the reason i have agreed to just go and hang out with laura and rae these past 2 days. not that spending time with them wasn't a reason, but i feel that i need to reconnect with certain things before i am gone. I know i will be coming back but will i actually be able to enjoy things as much then?

Women. now there is something i wish i had control over. it always seems like i can't have the ones that are right for me. either boyfriends or distances or for personal reasons that can't be explained i always seem to get the raw heel. I know i'm not the best looking apple on the tree but i don't think i'm the rotten fly covered one either. i wish there was a way to just find out who all liked me without any awkwardness or embarassment. oh well no use getting depressed over is it? i just wish i could find a good one to stick with.

there is something else that i think all of us are feeling but none of us are expressing (us being the seniors). I personally am dreading it more than others i think. I will miss every one of u next year. i fear this mainly because i know the truth. no matter wat we say or how close we are circumstances will come between us i.e. dustin james parks, u are closer to me than my brother or any other member of my family and we still talk a lot but i miss u man. i wish your presence was still around. things never went wrong for me when u were around.

but i have a big ass salad in front of me i must start eating before the vegetables get all gross.

I wish happiness to all of my friends, confusion to all of my enemies, and to all others tranquillity.

Aramil Liadon
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meh... [Mar. 5th, 2005|09:05 pm]
[mood |lonelylonely]
[music |The sound of silence - Simon and Garfunkle]

Well today was a long day. I started off by going to salina to see rae. So there u can't complain about never seeing me. Hope I made you feel a little better. Then after hangin out at the mall for a while i went over to brady's house to get him to come over. He came over and we moved my greenhouse with his truck. Then i went to go and get the mail and decided to see if anyone was playing tennis. Erin was but i saw kyles car at the skatepark so i went over there. We came over to my house and i proceeded to spank zach johnson at magic. then i took him home. after that i came home and took a shower and got a haircut. then kyle came back over and we played a few rounds of magic. Equilibrium is on right now and i have a fire going so i am warm and happy.

I so enjoy ppl being around. the only problem with it is that it shows me just how lonely i actually am.
Oh well...

People come and visit me, for that is the best gift anyone could ever give me.
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ugh... [Mar. 3rd, 2005|09:00 pm]
[mood |crappycrappy]
[music |Watching Clerks]

Well i have spent the past 2 days sick in my basement. Nothing really exciting has happened. I downloaded about 5 music videos and a couple of movies. it sux not being able to breathe. Track is gonna suck tomorrow cuz i havent ran in a couple of days. I watched of mice and men today i really like that movie. The only problem with it is at the very end i always cry a little. i don't know y that one movie does it, but it is just so sad i guess. oh well.... Things suck and i should be used to it. To all of you that read this come over and hang sometime. i'm lonely as hell sitting in this basement all the time.
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