|You can't go home again....
||[Mar. 6th, 2005|08:03 pm]
|||||battle hymn of the republic - air force choir||]|
Well today was long enough. I had to go sing at zion church at ten which ment i didn't get outa there till noon. After that brady's dad took him me and giff to pizza hutt. then i went home. later brandy came over and well we had a nice long talk that involved tears and confusion(from both parties.) after that i was feelin kinda down so i went to Talmage of all places.
It was nice. i went and walked around with laura for an hour or so an just looked at how little the town has changed. It was surprising it is as if time just forgot that one town, not the ppl in it just the actual town. I miss the freedoms and joy of childhood. being able to just slide down a piece of metal and be entertained is something i miss. Nowadayz the sheer concept of a slide seems assinine. it's more work then it is fun. the same with swings.
As I approach the end of my senior year i realize how much i am gonna miss this place and the ppl around it. I think that is part of the reason i have agreed to just go and hang out with laura and rae these past 2 days. not that spending time with them wasn't a reason, but i feel that i need to reconnect with certain things before i am gone. I know i will be coming back but will i actually be able to enjoy things as much then?
Women. now there is something i wish i had control over. it always seems like i can't have the ones that are right for me. either boyfriends or distances or for personal reasons that can't be explained i always seem to get the raw heel. I know i'm not the best looking apple on the tree but i don't think i'm the rotten fly covered one either. i wish there was a way to just find out who all liked me without any awkwardness or embarassment. oh well no use getting depressed over is it? i just wish i could find a good one to stick with.
there is something else that i think all of us are feeling but none of us are expressing (us being the seniors). I personally am dreading it more than others i think. I will miss every one of u next year. i fear this mainly because i know the truth. no matter wat we say or how close we are circumstances will come between us i.e. dustin james parks, u are closer to me than my brother or any other member of my family and we still talk a lot but i miss u man. i wish your presence was still around. things never went wrong for me when u were around.
but i have a big ass salad in front of me i must start eating before the vegetables get all gross.
I wish happiness to all of my friends, confusion to all of my enemies, and to all others tranquillity.